Musician, Charles Oputa aka Charlie Boy, is recounting how he felt when his last daughter, Dewy, came out to him as a lesbian.
In a post shared on his Facebook page this morning, Charlie
Boy said when she initially came out to him, he was confused and asked himself
some questions as to what he might have done wrong to have a gay child. The
singer and activist says that he looks back now and is grateful for the
experience of having a lesbian child.
His post reads
''For Parents Only.
About 4yrs ago, my last Princess of the house called me from
America, from her tone I was bracing up for whatever she was about to tell me
especially when she kept saying to me, “daddy promise me you won’t get mad at
me, or give up on me”
I am close with my children and I love dem to bits. They are
my friend. But I wasn’t really ready for the “breaking news” my Princess Dewy
had for me.
When my child told me she is gay, a lesbian, I experienced a
range of emotions, during dat phone conversation.
So many things went through my mind, one of them included
self-blame ("Did I do something wrong?") ("The child I thought I
knew and loved no longer exists."), worry ("Will my child be
discriminated against?) religious confusion ("Is my child damned to spend
eternity in hell?"), and stigma ("What will people think of my child?
Of me?").
However, I kept pinching myself to calm down because I
didn’t want my baby to shy away from me or for us to have a strained
relationship. I loved my baby far too much.
I first took a deep breath. And all I could say was, “are
you sure?”
I was hoping it was a prank but it was happening in real
time.
Even though I was unusually calm through that conversation,
my mind was wondering in all direction.
Months before this incident, I was lending my voice in
support of LGTB rights in Nigeria.
Is life playing tricks on me. Now my daughter is gay, why do
I feel disappointed? Am I a hypocrite? How do I handle this bomb shell?
I have faced many challenges in my life and won, I was
determined to win this too. All I want is my Princesses Love, happiness and
Success in her life anything else is secondary. I told myself that I will get
through this, and many months later I did.
As a matter of fact, I now look back and find that I am
grateful for the experience of having a gay or lesbian child.
Nothing can come between me and any of my beautiful
children. It is stupid to even think that having a gay child means that parents
have failed. That’s some pedestrian thinking.
Me, I love my gay daughter oooo because she has put some
colors into my life too.
Acceptance of the truth is like surgery. It hurts but cures.
Lie is like a pain killer. It gives instant relief but it’s side effects can
last forever.
I am proud when I say,
God has brought peace to my confusion, joy to my sadness and
hope to my heart.
I love you Dewy''
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